fifazayn:

when you catch up on a tv show and run out of episodes to watch and feel empty and lost inside

(Source: crunchier, via deputyxjordanparrish)

32,948 notes

alexbbypls:

break-itbrian:

if you ever think English is not a shit language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme, but read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

This post fucked me up.

(via deputyxjordanparrish)

273,942 notes

bewbin:

thefinestlad:

bewbin:

I just slept for 15 hours what I miss?

This dick

oh thank god i thought i missed something big 

(via deputyxjordanparrish)

307,240 notes

massiv3:

so when are we gonna stop pretending beer tastes good

(via deputyxjordanparrish)

75,399 notes

buckbarrow:

do you ever have second-hand obsessions

like one of your friends is super obsessed with a thing so whenever you see something about it you’re like “YES THIS THING” but you’re not the one obsessed with it. they are. you know very little about this thing and yet it still excites you because it excites your friend

(via deputyxjordanparrish)

146,170 notes

yessu:

there’s bad movies that you just turn off ten minutes in but then there’s bad movies that are an adventure

(via deputyxjordanparrish)

198,363 notes

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

if i was a hamster trying to ask out a fellow lady hamster i would say ‘are you from amsterdam because hamster, DAMN!’. and not being able to do this is the number one reason humans suck

(via deputyxjordanparrish)

102,464 notes

asensibledemi:

thirstlou:

remember when u were 9 and u were carrying ur little razor scooter and it would hit ur achilles and it felt like the earth was collapsing

I can’t even explain how right this is

(Source: dicksconnected, via deputyxjordanparrish)

374,191 notes

realityisoverrated:

gracefullikeagazelle:

knives-and-pipes:

upgraders:

most private thing im willing to admit: im not good at estimating how much pasta is enough for one person 

image there’s a tool for that

I’m sorry, does that scale progress from a child to a HORSE?

OMG GET IT
IM SO HUNGRY
I COULD
EAT
A HORSE
JFC

(via love-adamtuttle)

331,222 notes

khaleesiunchained:

monicalewinsky1996 :

floatingpoop:

step 1: make girl laugh
step 2: make girl moan

fact: most men cant accomplish either
image

(via harryashe)

410,954 notes